Sunday, September 27, 2009

Love Game (I apologize for the Lady Gaga-inspired title)

Whether casual or serious, current or former, people play games in their relationships. It makes dating complicated, disheartening and exhausting. We do things to make the boy or girl on whom we have our eye jealous. We say things we don’t mean, exaggerate and flat-out lie. We employ behavior we frown upon in others. All to get something out of a relationship. It has gotten to the point that half the time I can’t figure out if a guy is being sincere or just playing the game, so I just assume it is all part of the game. Wouldn’t we all just be better off if we cut through the bull and were just honest with one another?

If we all employed unabashed honesty in our relationships, there would be fewer broken hearts and more happy couples. Think about it, no matter what we are looking for in a relationship chances are there is someone out there who is willing to give us what we want. When people are honest with us about what they can offer in a relationship, it gives us the power to decide if it is enough. No one has false hopes and no one wastes their time. If we have to play games to get what we want, is it what we get real? Is it even worth it?

Even if all you want is a piece of tail for the night, being upfront about this fact would be better for both parties. I guarantee there is another person out there who is looking for exactly that. It seems that the only place you can get this kind of honesty is through the personals on Craigslist. I am shocked and appalled by the brazenness of some of the posts, but at least these people are being real about what they want.

I have never been good at the game. If I like someone, I let them know. If I’m unhappy about something that is going on in my relationship, I don’t devise strategic plans to make my point, I simply tell my significant other. When a relationship ends, I don’t pretend I’m immediately over it or try to make my ex jealous to get him back. What would be the point? Now, obviously I don’t know how well this has served me given the fact that all of my relationships have ended. However, I truly believe that, someday, my lack of game will land me in a happy, healthy and trusting relationship. Anything else just isn’t worth it.

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