Love is Blind; and Mildly Retarded

Love makes people stupid. Not in the sense that couples often begin using awful nicknames and talk to each other like complete and utter morons. But in the sense that perfectly intelligent human beings make awful decisions about their futures and their overall wellbeing based on a feeling, a connection, a figment of their imagination. I am just as guilty of this as everyone else, maybe even more so. What is it about the prospect of love and happily ever after that makes people go against everything they know and dive right in to a situation that is destined for disaster?

I have seen friends who have always had their heads on straight about the reality of love get involved in relationships that will surely leave one or both of the involved parties broken and miserable. I myself have stayed in abusive relationships and dated men who I knew couldn’t handle my expectations all because I have fallen for the myth that “love conquers all.” I have a friend who is getting divorced at 25 another who is getting divorced for the second time at age 30. These are both intelligent, strong people so how do they end up in a situation where they make stupid decisions about relationships?

To quote the song “Burn Fetish” by Eyedea and Abilities “Love is just a chemical by any other name.” This would offer a scientific explanation of our stupidity when it comes to love. Just as a junky would commit unimaginable acts to feed his addiction, we do the same as we continue to hold on to the hope of love. However, the dangers of a love addiction can go undetected not only by us but by our friends and our support system. Because people believe love is this beautiful, pure thing, they will often enable their friends by justifying stupid love decisions with anecdotes about people who did, in fact, overcome the very romantic situations these individuals may be facing in their own life.

Perhaps we would be better off if, when our friends begin to tell us about their new significant others, we treat them as though they were raving about this new narcotic they’ve discovered. I realize I’ve entered the dangerous territory that a bitter soul can easily slip into so I will put bitterness aside and make my point: we need to be more pragmatic in love if we hope to protect our hearts and get what we deserve.